Thursday, July 21, 2016

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR JULY 21


On this day in 356 BC, the Temple of Artemis in Ephesus, one of the Seven Wonders of the World, is destroyed by arson. How does one burn down marble columns?!

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On this day in 365, a tsunami devastates the city of Alexandria, Egypt. The tsunami was caused by the Crete earthquake estimated to be 8.0 on the Richter Scale. 5,000 people perished in Alexandria, and 45,000 more died outside the city.

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On this day in 1865, the first-ever true-life old-timey "wild West showdown" takes place in Springfield, Missouri, when Wild Bill Hickok guns down Dave Tutt in the market square. Eight years later to the day, on this day in 1873, the James Younger Gang pulls off the first-ever true-life old-timey train robbery. Tupac and Biggie had nothing on those gansta honkies, I tell ya whut.

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On this day in 1880, twenty workers are killed during the construction of the Hudson River Rail Tunnel. The men had been able to dig beneath the river thanks to an air compressor that pumped 35 lbs of pressure into the void, thus preventing the river from collapsing down on top of them. But they were digging through soft silt, and when they came to within fifteen feet of the bottom, the whole thing blew out like a wad of herniated chewing gum.

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On this day in 1973, Mossad agents assassinate a waiter in Norway after mistaking him for one of the terrorists who took Israeli athletes hostage during 1972's Munich Olympics. D'Oh!!!

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On this day in 1984, our soon-to-be metallic overlords take the first tentative step in their plan to destroy the human race when a factory robot in Jackson, Michigan crushes a worker against a safety bar… history's first robot-related death!

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Also on this day in 1984, fitness guru Jim Fixx - the man who single-handedly launched the jogging craze of the late seventies - dies of a massive heart attack at the ripe old age of… 43! BWAH-HA-HA-HA!!!

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On this day in 1990, legendary sour-puss Roger Waters and a cast of dozens perform the infamous prog-rock opera The Wall on the very site where the Berlin wall once stood. Paid attendance is around 200,000 people, but it is estimated that the real attendance figure was somewhere around 600,000. Every penny of the gate went to the War-Dead Fund.

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