Thursday, December 8, 2016

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR DECEMBER 8


On this day in 1660, a woman - either Margaret Hughes or Anne Marshall - appears on an English public stage for the first time, in the role of Desdemona in a production of Shakespeare's play Othello.

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On this day in 1792, one Henry Laurens - the details of his life lost to history's blind spots - becomes the first person ever to be cremated in the New World of America. Until then, we'd either been burying our dearly departed in graveyards, or devouring their remains to stave off starvation in quiet, desperate shame.

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On this day in 1854, in his Apostolic constitution Ineffabilis Deus, Pope Pius IX proclaims the dogmatic definition of "Immaculate Conception", which holds that the Virgin Mary was conceived free of original sin.

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On this day in 1927, the Brookings Institution, one of the United States' oldest think tanks (I prefer to call them "brain brothels", where one can hire the dubious charms of various "thought-stitutes"), is founded through the merger of three organizations that had been created by philanthropist Robert S. Brookings.

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On this day in 1941, US President Franklin D. Roosevelt declares December 7 to be "a date which will live in infamy", after which the U.S. and the Republic of China declare war against Japan.

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On this day in 1976, the General Assembly re-elects Kurt Waldheim for a second term as Secretary-General of the United Nations, and it's easy to see why. Waldheim had a truly kick-ass résumé at the time. Especially for a frickin' NAZI*!

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On this day in 1980, former Beatle John Lennon is gunned down by pathetic loser Mark David Chapman in front of the Dakota, the Manhattan apartment building where Roman Polanski’s Rosemary’s Baby was shot.

[*Pssst! 
The CIA only exposed Waldheim's Nazi affiliations after he stopped being a Nazi! 
It's true! Pass it on! - Jerky]

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