Monday, January 16, 2017

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR JANUARY 16


On this day in 1412, the Medici family is appointed official banker of the Vatican and the Papacy.

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On this day in 1581, the English Parliament outlaws Roman Catholicism.

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The Color Note Organ is patented on this day in 1877, roughly 90 years before the psychedelic revolution of the 1960's would make such a thing marketable.

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On this day in 1909, explorer Ernest Shackleton's expedition finds the magnetic South Pole.

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On this day in 1919, the United States ratifies the Eighteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution, authorizing Prohibition in the United States one year after ratification.

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On this day in 1920, prohibition becomes the law of the land, thus beginning America's thirteen year run as a "dry" country. Just like the War On Drugs, the War On Booze didn't (and doesn't) fucking work.

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On this day in 1945, Nazi Man-God Adolf Hitler moves into his underground bunker, the so-called F├╝hrerbunker.

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On this day in 1969, Soviet spacecraft Soyuz 4 and Soyuz 5 perform the first-ever docking of manned spacecraft in orbit, the first-ever transfer of crew from one space vehicle to another, and the only time such a transfer was accomplished with a space walk.

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On this day in 1970, genius inventor Buckminster Fuller receives the Gold Medal award from the American Institute of Architects.

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On this day in 1973, a young girl named Anna Christian Waters disappears from her backyard. She has yet to be found. See above.

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On this day in 1976, Peter Frampton releases Frampton Comes Alive, which is still the biggest selling live album of all time. I mean come on, people!

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On this day in 1979, Shah Reza Pahlevi - installed as a convenient figurehead for the puppet regime installed by the CIA after they deposed the democratically-elected Mohammed Mossadegh for trying to nationalize his nation's petroleum industry - is chased out of Iran in the wake of a massive nationalist/fundamentalist uprising led by Ayatollah Khomeni. Oopsy-daisy!

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After finally getting over that whole excommunicating the king thing, England re-establishes full diplomatic relations with the Vatican on this day in 1982. Way to hold a grudge, guys!

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On this day, in 1988, Jimmy "The Greek" Snyder is fired from ABC Sports when he goes on the air and attempts to explain black dominance in football. "During the slave period," he bloviated, "the slave owner would breed his big black with his big woman so that he would have a big black kid - that's where it all started." The statement, it turns out, was both politically and scientifically incorrect. Scientists have since figured out that what really gives blacks the edge in sports... is watermelons!

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On this day in 1991, Operation Desert Storm debuts on TV screens around the world. The ratings are killer.

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On this day in 2003, Space Shuttle Columbia takes off for mission STS-107 which would be its final one. Columbia disintegrates on re-entry 16 days later, spreading its debris over a wide terrain which includes part of Preznit Dubya's Texas ranch. What are the freaking odds?

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On this day in 2006, Ellen Johnson Sirleaf is sworn in as Liberia's new president. She becomes Africa's first female elected head of state.

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