Thursday, February 2, 2017

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR FEBRUARY 2


On this day in 1536, explorer Pedro de Mendoza discovers the Argentine city of Buenos Aires. He is particularly impressed by the discos.

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On this day in 1653, the city of New Amsterdam (later renamed The City of New York) is incorporated.

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On this day in 1848, the first ship with Chinese immigrants arrives in San Francisco for the California Gold Rush.

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On this day in 1852, the first British public men's restroom opens on Fleet Street, in London. Minutes after the groundbreaking ceremony, the first ever anonymous gay public restroom blowjob takes place.

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 On this day in 1878, Greece declares war on Turkey. Sounds like Thanksgiving dinner at Chateau LeBoeuf!

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On this day in 1882, a bunch of Catholic guys who are jealous of the Freemasons start their own "secret society" - the Knights of Columbus - in New Haven, Connecticut. Their greatest achievement so far? Getting "under God" inserted into the Pledge of Allegiance in the 1950's, then convincing everybody that it's been there all along.

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On this day in 1887, in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania the first Groundhog Day is observed.

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On this day in 1893, the first ever "money shot" (a.k.a. close-up of a biological function) takes place when an Edison Studios cameraman captures a sneeze on film.

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On this day in 1901, the funeral of Queen Victoria takes place.

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On this day in 1922, the novel Ulysses by James Joyce is published.

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On this day in 1933, 2 days after becoming chancellor, and 1 day after promising not to dissolve the German parliament… Adolf Hitler dissolves the German parliament. The moral of the story? Never change your country's constitution to allow an Austrian immigrant to become head of state!

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The G.I. Joe line of action dolls for boys debuts on this day in 1964. Sales are brisk until early 1972, when an entire platoon is found guilty of committing war crimes during the siege of Leggo Land, including the wanton slaughter of over a hundred unarmed Weebles and multiple Kewpie Doll rapes.

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On this day in 1971, dictator Idi Amin replaces President Milton Obote as leader of Uganda.

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On this day in the year 1977, Radio Shack begin production on their groundbreaking TRS-80 computer. Costing a mere TWO THOUSAND DOLLARS, these machines could display two (count'em!) colors, divide a twelve-digit number in ten minutes flat, and only weighed about FIFTY FUCKIN' POUNDS. "Good old days," my fat white ass!

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On this day in 1980, reports surface that the FBI is targeting allegedly corrupt Congressmen in the Abscam operation. Learn a bit about this in the currently popular American Hustle motion picture film.

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On this day in 1986, the Dalai Lama confronts Pope John Paul II in India. Their meeting went something like the Saruman / Gandalf confrontation in the movie version of The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring.

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On this day in 1990, South African leader F.W. de Klerk announces the unbanning of the African National Congress and promises to release Nelson Mandela.

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