Saturday, July 1, 2017

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR JULY 1


On this day in 1862, the United States Congress passes a law which makes polygamy a crime. Thankfully, screwing around behind your wife's back remains perfectly legal, if risky.

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On this day in 1867, the Dominion of Canada is forged from the provinces of New Brunswick, Nova Scotia, Ontario and Quebec. So wash down a bacon sandwich and a plate of poutine with a bottle of Moosehead. Or don't. It's entirely up to you.

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On this day in 1879, the first ever edition of the Jehovah’s Witness magazine The Watchtower is published by Charles Taze Russell.

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On this day in 1899, the Gideon Society is established with the stated goal of getting a bunch of crazy Christian folks to sneak a copy of the Holy Bible into every hotel room in the land, in the hopes that doing so will guarantee their ascent into heaven after they die… the poor, deluded fools.

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On this day in 1903, the first ever Tour de France bicycle race is run.

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On this day in 1908, SOS - short for "Save Our Souls" - is adopted as the international distress signal.

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On this day in 1963, ZIP Codes are introduced for United States mail. This will make it infinitely easier for the elites to herd us all into camps, when the time comes to do so.

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On this day in 1967, the European Community is formally created out of a merger with the Common Market, the European Coal and Steel Community, and the European Atomic Energy Commission.

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On this day in 1968, the CIA's Phoenix Program is officially established. It expressly targets North Vietnamese civilians for terrorization by covert forces, and is thus quite evil and not fondly remembered.

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On this day in 1968, the Nuclear non-proliferation treaty is signed in Washington, D.C., London and Moscow by sixty-two countries. Proliferation continues apace, regardless.

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On this day in 1980, O Canada officially becomes the national anthem of Canada. The song is already over 100 years old by this point in time.

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On this day in 1981, the Wonderland Murders occurr in the early morning hours, allegedly masterminded by businessman and drug dealer Eddie Nash and partially committed by pornography legend John Holmes.

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On this day in 1987, President Ronald Reagan nominates right-wing extremist Robert Bork for the United States Supreme Court. Thankfully the Democratic-controlled Senate has the good sense to reject this bug-eyed reactionary freak, and turned his last name into a verb. "Bork! Bork! Bork!"

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On this day in 1991, the Warsaw Pact is officially dissolved at a meeting in Prague.

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On this day in 2002, the International Criminal Court is established to prosecute individuals for genocide, crimes against humanity, war crimes, and the crime of aggression.

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