Thursday, October 26, 2017

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR OCTOBER 26


On this day in 1776, Benjamin Franklin departs from America for France on a mission to seek French support for the American Revolution. It works!

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On this day in 1944, the Battle of Leyte Gulf – the largest naval battle in history – ends with an overwhelming American victory against Japan.

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On this day in 1967, Iran’s shah, Mohammad Reza Pahlavi, crowns himself Emperor of Iran and then crowns his wife Farah Empress of Iran.

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On this day in 1984, Baby Fae receives a heart transplant from a baboon.

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On this day in 1999, Britain's House of Lords votes to end the right of hereditary peers to vote in Britain's upper chamber of Parliament.

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On this day in 2001, America's political class passes the U.S.A.P.A.T.R.I.O.T.A.C.T. into law without even really trying to READ the damned thing..

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On this day in the year 1988, American and Soviet scientists combine their efforts to save two gray whales from certain death after the beasts are suddenly surrounded by miles of unbroken ice off the coast of Alaska. They work day and night for nearly a week, cutting holes in the ice so the whales can surface and breathe. Meanwhile, a tribe of harpoon-clutching Eskimos - their tummies grumbling - can only shake their heads as they watch this absurdly expensive and time-consuming rescue effort escort a month's worth of food towards open water.

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On this day in 1988, after doing four months of "consulting" work, oleaginous real estate tycoon Donald Trump issues a $2,000,000 invoice to heavyweight cannibal rapist Iron Mike Tyson, thereby inadvertantly revealing the secret to all his financial success: STEALING from mentally unstable people!

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